I had a seriously rotten day yesterday, one that I didn’t handle well at all, because of negativity I brought to a challenging situation. The day started with not enough sleep, continued with a late break, and seemed to have no end in sight.
I simmered with frustration for the bigger part of the day, and I had a lot of trouble shaking off that feeling on the way home. I got home and recounted my rough day to my husband, but still had residual negativity with nowhere to go.
Still sulking, I began to get things ready to start my day off right in the morning. I decided to try on my smallest pair of jeans to wear today, a size 12 from Old Navy that is considerably smaller than the other size 12 from Old Navy that I have. (Old Navy’s inconsistent sizing rears its ugly head again!) They fit fine, which is good news, as I have been pushing myself to get back into the weight loss groove full-time. (I’ve pretty much been maintaining my weight loss for the past few months. It’s definitely a good thing to have gotten to a point where I can successfully keep off 40 lbs. for three years, but now is time for me to push forward on the second act of weight loss, and get to maintenance at a new, lower level.)
And then I had another idea: I pulled out the last pair of “before” jeans that I have and gave them a good look. The pants, a size 20 from Lane Bryant, looked much larger than I remembered.
I stepped inside of my “big girl pants,” and was amazed at how much they didn’t fit me anymore. It sometimes doesn’t register how much weight I’ve lost, but this absolutely put things into perspective. After I stepped out of the pants and put them back in my closet, I went on with my evening, sticking to my eating plan and getting in some laughs from new episodes of Community and 30 Rock. Later that night, I sat with my feelings a bit to try and understand what bothered me so much. With contemplation and prayer, I was able to make a break from that negative energy. I plan to follow up this morning with some journaling, to explore further.
As I continue to develop a good relationship with food, and find and commit to ways to positively cope with the ups and downs of life, I now know that I can figuratively–and literally–put on my big girl pants and get back to what I need to do.