About 15 years ago, I had a bad haircut experience. I went in to get my shoulder-length hair evened out, and I came out with my hair cut above my ears. Since then, I haven’t been too excited about getting my hair cut.
Fast forward in my life, and you’d see me wanting badly to cut my hair, but fearful of the results. I stopped chemically straightening my hair about five years ago, so not only was I fearful of how the haircut would turn out, but also how my hair would end up if I had options and wasn’t putting it in a ponytail every day (as I had been doing).
This year, I got tired of not having options. I found a salon, scheduled an appointment, told friends and family about the upcoming big day, and researched haircut styles on the Internet. All of this reaching out and planning helped.
As it has been five years since scissors had last touched my head, and I knew some work would need to be done to get the hairstyle that I wanted, I prepared myself mentally for the possibility of losing a lot of hair. But I also thought up a plan for communicating some boundaries to the stylist–that was something I hadn’t done those many years ago when I was virtually scalped.
I started this preparation about a month before the appointment, and it was the best thing I could’ve done. Going into the appointment was a breeze, because I had a plan that I was able to stick to. I communicated my wants, and I got them. I was pleased with the end results, even though they were different from my comfortable, old hairstyle. I faltered a little at going to work with the new, natural hair full on display, but I ultimately gained a level of comfort, since it was what I wanted and I did really like it.
I was proud of myself for conquering my haircut phobia. I like to think that all the work I’ve done toward losing and keeping off weight, and sorting through mental baggage to toss has primed me for this moment. It has prepared me for planning, for being realistic, for setting boundaries. Weight loss and concerted attempts to strengthen my outlook on life have gotten me in a mindset of understanding that things happen in life, and whether I have full control over the outcome or not, I can control my outlook and my attitude. I can be as proactive as I can in my sphere of influence, and at some point I have to admit that a challenge is beyond my control and I’ve done the best I can. That takes strengthening my faith muscle, but also rebelling against perfectionism and feelings of shame or embarrassment. (I’ve been reading up on shame recently, in a couple of books from Brene Brown; I’ll most likely touch on them in the near future, as they have been extremely helpful.)
So basically, I went in for a haircut on Saturday, but I also had my blinders removed, noticing that I am well in the middle of a full-blown life makeover. I am pleased with those results so far as well.
And here are the pics: