I expressed a desire earlier this year to officially leave the obese marker for good. I have not really made much progress on that goal, although the deeper look I’ve taken into who I am and what motivates me has been invaluable.
I have wanted to make myself accountable and make a dent in this goal, but I have not been consistent. I have kept the 40 lbs. off still, but this week I came in 3 lbs. above that. That tells me I need to get serious. (And I really need to get a replacement battery for my food scale.)
While I have been building up my resolve, I read a quote on Twitter that got my attention. It comes from a singer named Kevin Michael, who made noise a few years back for his strong, soulful vocals, and is now a free agent, and apparently a very defiant free spirit. But not so free of a spirit that he doesn’t have strong opinions about life and the world, and tough-love advice to dispense. In other words the doctor “Kev24sev,” as his Twitter handle goes, is always in.
His words of wisdom?
“If you decide that you cannot beat a temptation, what you are really doing is giving yourself permission to be irresponsible.”
I’m going to go to work, marinate on that some more, and pick this post up later today. But please feel free to leave a common in the meantime and let me know how it makes you feel about yourself, your goals, and your progress.
After thinking about this all day, I couldn’t agree more for myself. Temptation, plus difficult emotions, is a one-two punch that has gotten me in trouble many times–past and present. But it’s true that healthy eating is a responsibility–my responsibility. I can admit to myself that sometimes I don’t fight as hard as I could to stay the course with my eating. That would be a place where I’m giving myself permission to be irresponsible. Regardless of the rationale I come up with for eating poorly, I have to decide to be responsible for my actions if I want to make my last weight loss goal.
I think couching this challenge in terms of responsibility and choice does two things: One, it keeps you from having a mindset of failure. If I cheat on my eating, it means I chose to eat poorly. It’s not an eternal failure; it’s a one-time choice that I can rectify by choosing differently in the future. It doesn’t mean I’m defective or incapable of losing more weight; it means I need to make a commitment to choosing differently in the future.
Two, it’s inspiration to place value on myself to do better. If I can give myself permission to be irresponsible, I can–and should–give myself permission to be responsible. My weight loss journey started partially from a place of not entirely liking who I was, and wanting to change based on that. But now, with an increased acceptance of myself, I think I need to change my perspective to one of wanting to do better for myself, for my future and my family.
In other words, I am worth spending a little more time to make a meal, rather than pick up something convenient. I am worth springing for fresh, whole ingredients, rather than feeding my body nutritionally worthless food. I am worth dealing with my tough emotions straight away, rather than suppressing them with food. I deserve better, and I permit myself to do better on my behalf.
I think I need to plaster this quote somewhere where I can look at it regularly. And think about it some more. And change my ways.